[Sleepless]
I just lie down on Riley's bed, pretendin to be sleeping while he nad jaz is yapping about nirvana. I had just gone out of the computer room, chattin with Ad and C. It has been a terrible night..painful and sad.
I cant sleep. I keep thinkin of her. Of us. Something is wrong im sure. i can sense it, i know how it is when everything is normal...when everything is still alive. Now, its just dead, and cold.
What happen? Is it something that i had done to the one person i loved so much in this world? Why? When everything i thought had gone perfect, new shit come to my face.
I slept for awhile (i dreamt Edward Cullen biting my neck. Sick bastard) and around 5 am i took a shower. Jaz is still sleepin and Riley on the couch sleeping with a ps2 controler.
I cant sleep. My chest still hurt since lastnight, as if something in my heart wanted to burst out of it..killing me.
I went to the computer room and prayed for a while. I turned to god for help..and i fell asleep.
Next thing i know i woke up at 10am and Riley and Jaz is playin Pet Society. They realise im not the usual...i was silent. I dont know what to do.
I love her..badly. I never cared so much to someone before. We promised this would last forever, our love, our relationship. I hope its true. 5 months now, and i love her more than before. But i dont know whats playin in her mind. The rain reminds me of her..all the times we had. Why must it be ****??
Its new year's eve...and im welcoming 2009 with depression. Not a very good idea i must say. I cant help it. She's the only one who can cheer me up, by loving me from the bottom of her heart.
I wish by midnight....i'll be dead with love then alive without it.
Labels: stupid soulja boy